Archive for January, 2012
Never Tolerate Excuses (At Least Not From Yourself!)
Thursday, January 26th, 2012
I have a small plaque on my desk that has three words in tall bold black letters: NEVER TOLERATE EXCUSES. It’s an angry looking sign, and it should be – because once you allow yourself to get in the habit of tolerating excuses, it’s all over.
I’m not talking about the excuses other people give us. You can’t control their behavior, so don’t even worry about it. I’m talking about you and me, and the excuses we give ourselves for why we aren’t taking the actions we know we should be. We even have a special name for these excuses, so we’ll feel better about making them: we call them “reasons.”
Let me give you a few examples of common “reasons” we use when faced with challenging situations:
“I don’t have the time for that …”
“I don’t have the money for that …”
“I don’t have the skills for that …”
“I don’t have enough willpower for that …”
We use reasons like these all the time to explain why we’re not making the changes in our lives that we need to. They sound valid enough – we’re all pressed for time and money, and there’s only so much talent to go around, right?
Wrong. These reasons have one major thing in common – they are all conspicuously missing the statement that puts the responsibility on us. Our excuses avoid dealing with the fact that we have the power to change things (and neatly absolves us of any guilty feelings for not stepping up and demanding more from ourselves).
Let’s see what these “reasons” would look like if we really told the whole truth:
“I don’t have the time for that because I haven’t been willing to make a priority of making better use of my time.”
“I don’t have the money for that because I haven’t been willing to make a priority of making better use of my money.”
“I don’t have the skills for that because I haven’t been willing to make a
priority of working hard to increase my skills.”
“I don’t have enough willpower for that because I haven’t been willing to make a priority of developing real discipline.”
Ouch! When you put it that way, it stings, doesn’t it? It sure does when I have to talk that way to myself! The truth is that we use excuses to get ourselves out of the hard work of self-discipline or of thinking hard enough to find an answer to our problem.
If you want to get all you can out of your life, you have to decide to NEVER TOLERATE EXCUSES from yourself. You have to decide to develop the discipline. You have to decide to think hard enough to find the answer. And unless you’re willing to do this, you’re going to live out the rest of your days bellyaching about how tough you have it and how much the deck is stacked against you.
Only you can take control of your life. And only you can stop tolerating the excuses that you’ve been letting hold you back from the life you dream of.
Do This Now!
- Get a pen and paper and write down three things you really want to do but you feel like you don’t have the time/money/talent/whatever to pull it off.
- Identify Your Excuse – What are you doing (or not doing) that is allowing this problem to exist in the first place?
- Plan and Strike – What are you going to do to blow these excuses out of the water? Figure it out and get to it – NOW!
Dave Navarro is the Rapid Results Coach who can help you get unstuck from the problems that put limits on your business wealth. Check out the Results Right Now newsletter at http://tips.resultsrightnow.net to get a free 30 minute coaching session and a Crash Course in Creating Instant Momentum! Do it now, before this month’s free coaching slots are used up
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Finding good self defense training
Wednesday, January 25th, 2012
If you have been searching high and low for quality self defense training, you may want to visit Self Defense Clique. This amazing site is a one-of-a-kind invention: a social networking mega site dedicated to the fine art of self defense. Learn about self defense techniques, weapons, and so much more. Create your free profile after you create your free account and show the world why they shouldn’t mess with you. You can even shop for the latest and greatest self defense weapons and have them shipped directly to your door without even having to leave your home.
Finding good self defense training in your home town is easier than you think. The ever-growing community of self defense fans at Self Defense Clique can help you weed out the contenders from the pretenders. Chances are, even if you live in a small city, there is at least one other person from your area registered. Post a note in our fast paced forum and state which area you live in and what aspect of self defense training you want to learn more about, then simply sit back and watch the results pour in. If you live in a big city, like New York or L.A., expect
to get dozens or even hundreds of responses. It is up to you to weed through them all and find out which self defense expert is for you.
You can actually learn a lot about self defense from the good people at Self Defense Clique. Through the use of videos, pictures, detailed blog posts, and picture albums, not to mention the news section, you can figure out the pluses and minuses of the world’s most popular self defense techniques, then you can seek out professional training to complete your quest. Self Defense Clique hopes to become the premiere self defense destination for students, teachers and anyone else with even a passing interest in the world of self defense.
Finding good self defense training is an important part of becoming more self confident in tense situations. No amount of reading, browsing, watching, or chatting can truly prepare you for a situation where you may need to defend yourself. Self Defense Clique hopes to connect average people who are tired of being scared with the best professional trainers in their town, county, state, or region. Self Defense Clique is here to help you become a better person. Create your free account today and see for yourself.
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How Inspirational Thoughts Maintain Motivation
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012
If motivation is what fuels your actions then inspirational thoughts is what fuels your motivation. Consider what it takes to get motivated in the first place, an inspiration. When inspired you’re stimulated or motivated to take action. When your inspiration weakens you then experience a lack of motivation.
Gaining the initial motivation to take a course of action is a relatively easy feat. Learning how to stay motivated is a more difficult task and is the topic of our discussion here today.
Let’s look at 3 simple yet effective techniques you can use to stay motivated while in pursuit of any goals you have set.
Stay Focused on Your Goals
Do not forget what it is you are trying to achieve. It is sometimes easy to get so caught up in the chase itself that we tend to forget what it is we are chasing. When this occurs the drudgery of the chase wears you down sapping your energy, enthusiasm and motivation. The end result is that you quit!
Remember it is the end result we are striving to attain so it’s important to continually remind ourselves of the benefit we’re going to experience. Remember Your Why! This will help to keep you motivated during your pursuit.
Chart Your Progress
A form of daily inspiration, charting your progress is more of a visual that displays to you the progress you are making. This type of encouragement will help fuel your energy and enthusiasm so that you can
maintain the efforts needed to reach your goal.
Surround Yourself with Like Minded People
By associating with people who have the same goals keeps you reminded to stay focused. Sharing thoughts and ideas will not only keep you motivated but also lend a different yet beneficial perspective to your own approach.
Associating with those who already have accomplished the goals you’re pursuing is an affirmation that these goals can be reached. It is also a chance to gain insight from somebody who has ‘been there and done that.’ It is much easier to follow a path that has already been made than to blaze a brand new trail.
As you can see by maintaining inspirational thoughts you are greatly enhancing your ability to remain driven toward the goals you’ve set for yourself. When you first get motivated to pursue any objective your enthusiasm is sky high but over time it tends to weaken. This results in a lack of motivation. With the help of different forms of daily inspiration you will be able to maintain that inner drive you’ll need to reach your desired objectives. Learning how to stay motivated in this way will make you more successful in both the personal and professional aspects of your life.
TJ Philpott is an author and Internet entrepreneur based out of North Carolina.
For additional Online Success Tips
and a free guide that demonstrates how to find both profitable markets and products visit:http://affiliatequickstart.com/
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Blast Through the Walls of Procrastination with Motivational Audio Books
Sunday, January 22nd, 2012
It is not what you do every once in a while that determines your destiny but your consistent actions that determines your ultimate destination in life. To move in the direction you ultimately desire for your life, your destiny, it is absolutely critical to stay motivated. There is nothing like good motivational audio books to assist you and keep you on track in pursuing your goals.
There is a science to motivational audio books. Those individuals with the power to motivate us are indeed very special for the power of their words and actions inspire us to become more, bigger and better. As our knowledge of the workings of the human mind expand, the more we gain to understand what makes us do or not do what we do. There are numerous motivational audio books on the market by rare individuals that have mastered the principles of the human mind and who can pave a direct route to what motivates you. (read more on what motivation really is…)
Good motivational audio books will always assist you in defining goals for your life. Exciting goals will get you up early and keep you up late. They inspire you to marshal all your recourses and use everything you can possibly find within the sphere of your influence to bring them to fruition. Know that the human mind is always pursuing something. It is your task to direct your focus in what your mind pursues. Motivational audio books tap into the power of your mental focus. Whatever we focus on consistently we move towards. In his timeless classic, As a man Thinketh, James Allen states that by the power of our own thoughts we have made or unmade ourselves. If we don’t consciously direct our thoughts into the direction we want our lives to go, then worry and anxiety will take over by default. There is more than enough negative influences around us all the time to grow a wonderful garden of weeds in our minds.
Listening to motivational audio books as part of your daily routine will help to keep your mind positive. Having a positive mental attitude is absolutely critical if we want to lead a happy and fulfilled life. It is even more important
in achieving success as noting good can ever spring from a mind that is constantly focussed on negative and destructive thoughts. Tony Robbins once said something that changes my life. He said that “what is wrong is always available, BUT so is what is right. It all comes down to what you choose to focus on.”
Motivational audio books have the power to motivate us. That is it calls us to action and helps us install powerful motives for acting on our goals and aspirations. If you are motivated you have a motive or reason for doing something. The magic of motivational speakers is that they help you find reasons within yourself to do whatever is necessary to achieve your goals. When you are motivated everything just seems to “flow” and tasks that previously you thought of as too hard or impossible becomes doable and pleasurable. Motivation is the perfect antidote to procrastination.
Motivational audio books allow us to use and utilize NET TIME (no extra time) – time when you are not actively doing something constructive. Whether you are commuting, running on the treadmill, relaxing and even while you are sleeping. What? Listen to motivational audio books while I’m sleeping? Yes! Remember that your subconscious mind never sleeps. It’s always “awake” and always absorbing whatever it is “fed” by the environment, our conscious minds and thoughts.
Let’s face it we all have bad days, days when we feel like we are fighting a losing battle and that our lives have no real meaning. We all have days where we feel depressed and days where we procrastinate. It’s exactly then when you need to have your favourite motivational audio books at hand. No matter what you do make sure you stay motivated and break through the wall of procrastination.
“Motivation is like food for the brain. You cannot get enough of it in one sitting. It needs continual and regular refills.” – Peter Davies
This article is published with the permission of The Self Improvement Gym, a network of website dedicated to helping ordinary people create extraordinary lives and turning their dreams into reality. For more information please visit http://www.TonyRobbinsAudiobooks.com for free e-books, e-zines and other recourses.
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Ignite Your Life!
Saturday, January 21st, 2012
Where have you come from this past year? What have you accomplished? Don’tlike the answers? Wish you had better ones, more fulfilling ones? You can -just one year from now!
You have within yourself the power to decide that when someone asks you justone year from now, “What did you accomplish in the last year?” you willrespond, “Let me tell you – I was on fire!”
You aren’t getting any younger, and neither am I. If nothing changes, nextyear you will be one year older and still stuck in the rut wondering whenyou will achieve your dreams. But you can change!
Here are some thoughts to apply so that you can take control of your worldand ignite your life!
Decide what you want this year. What is it – exactly? You will never pursueit, nor get it, if you do not know what “it” is. Crystallize it in yourmind. See it. Know it.
Put some sort of physical reminder where you will see it every day. Maybeyou want to lose weight. Put a picture of someone who looks the way you wantto, or perhaps a picture of yourself from when you weighed what you want toweigh again. This will keep it in your mind each and every day.
Increase your positive self-talk. Stop telling yourself negative things, andI include thoughts, not just verbal talk. Instead, start telling yourselfpositive things. “But Chris, those thoughts just run around in my head. Idon’t put them there!” Well, catch them. Take them captive and throw themout! When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, stop and askyourself what the exact opposite would be. Then begin to think it. Let thepositive thought expand and
take over the terrain of your mind the same waythe negative thought would have before you ran it out of town!
Act. Yes, act. I don’t mean join a theater group. I mean get some actiongoing in your life. Want to get out of debt? Ask the boss for 5 hours ofovertime a week. Over a year that would be 250 hours (I give you two weeksfor vacation. Aren’t I nice?). If you normally make $15 an hour, you willmake $30 (or something like that – go with me here). $30 multiplied by 250is $7500. Your action will move you toward your goal. Worrying about moneywon’t. If you want to lose weight, go to the gym on a set schedule. Whateveryou do – act! Just make the action something that will propel you towardyour goal.
If you do the above – if you decide what you want, put a physical reminderof it where you will see it, increase your positive self-talk and takeactions that will propel you toward your goals, you will ignite your life!And next year when someone asks how you have been your eyes will light upand you will boldly say, “Man, I have been on fire! Let me tell you allabout it…”
About The Author:
Chris Widener is a popular speaker and writer as well as the President of Made for Success, a company helping individuals and organizations turn their potential into performance, succeed in every area of their lives and achieve their dreams.
To see Chris “live” at the upcoming Jim Rohn Weekend Event as he speaks on the subject of Secrets of Influence go to http://Chris-Widener.InspiresYOU.com/ or call 800-929-0434.
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Persistence Defined
Friday, January 20th, 2012
Persistence will carve you as a leader in your industry. Persistence is where you get mental strength. It seperates you from ordinary people. You must learn to cultivate a habit of persisting, since all things are possible if you persist.
The persistent man or woman doesn’t accept defeat, he just keeps climbing on. David Schwarz in his book ‘The magic of thinking big’ says “Salvage something from every set back”. Persistence has incredible power. To reach the roughest of ambitions, we could, if we took one step at a time and continue to take steady steps and not stop. People of greatness have climbed the ladder to success, while encountering all the obstacles that are hurled their way, which usually deter common people. Persistence is a vital step on the ladder, to attain your dream. Man in order to live to his fullest potential must have a dream. To reach that dream you must build a ladder. The first step is determination. The second step is dedication, the third is discipline, the fourth is attitude and the final step is the most important being persistent.
A person with persistence will succeed over the person with more talent, more education or more money. Nothing can replace persistence not talent nor genius, neither education. Lack of persistence is a weakness which filters
through a majority of the races. Persistence can turn adversity into greatness. Read Biographies and Autobiographies of great personalities. Follow some of the principles they had employed to succeed. Make a right choice today. Focus on the kind of Sales result you want to produce. Set the target of your sales volume for this year. Set tools to work with, to achieve this target. Discipline your life, fall in love with your dream. Presently you probably are selling only 25% of sales of a 100% target. With persistence you can master your stride to sell the rest of the 75% as well. Remember all great people started as ordinary human beings but had a dream, persisted, endured, determined, disciplined, dedicated and with a positive mental attitude achieved their goals. If they can persist, you can, so begin to persist.
Winston Saga is one of the world’s leading sales legends. He is also the CEO of Sales and Motivation International. Winston has been acknowledged as a unique and distinctive authority in the field of sales and personal development. Last year International Biography Centre selected him ”International Man of the Year” for his outstanding contribution to sales and Service. He has written 100′s of articles to magazine, journals and websites. Visit http://www.telesalestips.com to know more about the Author.
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Creativity and Innovation Management – Motivation
Wednesday, January 18th, 2012
Motivation in creativity and innovation is more important than personality traits. This is like possessing high intelligence – one must be motivated to improve and apply it.
It is compelling that motivation and creative output are positively correlated. The more motivated an individual, the more likely he or she is to engage in the task at various cognitive levels until an outcome is achieved.
Contrary to many assertions, factors that make up motivation can be isolated, monitored and measured using standard quantitative techniques.
This allows a leader, consultant or manager to measure and improve motivation with a corresponding rise in creative output.
There are broad and specific categories of motivation.
Broad categories (Amabile, 1983):
a) Intrinsic motivation – that where fulfillment is reached by attaining the solution to the problem itself, the activity is engaged in for its own sake. Characteristics of intrinsically motivated people include commitment to work, passionate involvement, total absorption and devotion to their work, interest and satisfaction in their work, challenged by their work.
b) Extrinsic motivation – that where the achievement of the task results in the fulfilment of an ulterior end, rather than the task itself. It is the motivation to engage in an activity primarily in order to meet some goal external to the work itself, such as attaining an expected reward, winning a competition or meeting some requirement.
Extrinsic motivation is itself split into two categories: synergistic and non-synergistic. Synergistic extrinsic motivators provide information or enable the person to better complete the task and act in accordance with intrinsic motives. Non-synergistic reward leads a person to feel controlled and
is incompatible with intrinsic motivation.
A number of specific categories exist, including:
a) The gap between the person’s ideal and real self. If an individual perceives that he is not what he wishes to be, he is more likely to be motivated to engage in activities that bring him closer to his ideal self.
b) The perceived enjoyability of the task. Terms such as “fun,” “amusing,” “fascinating” and “inspiring” are common.
c) The degree of challenge. The more a task is perceived as challenging and competency expanding, the more the intrinsic motivation.
d) Feasibility. If a task is perceived to be unreachable, intrinsic motivation decreases.
e) Control of ones destiny. If an individual perceives that a task is not under his control, then intrinsic motivation decreases.
f) Recognition is noted by many to be a powerful driver of task engagement.
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These and other topics are covered in depth in the MBA dissertation on Managing Creativity & Innovation, which can be purchased (along with a DIY Audit, Powerpoint Presentation and Good Idea Generator Software) from http://www.managing-creativity.com.
You are free to reproduce this article as long as the author’s name and site URL are retained. A link to the MBA dissertation would be appreciated.
Rate this article (below).
Kal Bishop MBA is a management consultant based in London, UK. He has consulted in the visual media and software industries and for clients such as Toshiba and Transport for London. He has led Improv, creativity and innovation workshops, exhibited artwork in San Francisco, Los Angeles and London and written a number of screenplays. He is a passionate traveller. He can be reached on http://www.managing-creativity.com
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ABCs for High Achievers
Tuesday, January 17th, 2012
A im for what you want by focusing clearly on priorities.
B elieve in yourself and your goals, and then begin to strive for them.
C ount your blessings, create opportunities, and commit to faith-driven action.
D ream big dreams, design a plan, and dedicate yourself to excellence.
E nergize yourself with positive thoughts, and expect daily miracles and victories.
F ollow through with faith-driven action, and forgive mistakes of the past.
G ive time, energy and extra effort, and give thanks for all that you have and will receive.
H old on to your dreams with desire and faith through the long winters of life.
I magine yourself as successful, and release thoughts of fear that would limit you.
J ourney out of your comfort zone to acquire new knowledge and greater rewards.
K eep moving forward little by little, gaining new wisdom and courage each day.
I mplement strategies that work, and toss those that don’t work.
L ove yourself enough to take good care of you so that you’ll be able to take care of those you love.
M ake room for the most important things first, and move into action when the time is right.
N egotiate with others so that everyone wins.
O pen the eyes of your spirit, and see the good in others and in life.
P ractice the skills needed to propel you to the level of excellence.
Q uestion things you may need to remove, and increase energy by living in a stress-free environment.
R ecognize
favorable circumstances, ride each wave with courage, and rest to renew your energy.
S tand firm on your commitment to excellence. Seek out the people and information that can help you succeed.
T hank God for all blessings, take control of your time, and tackle each problem with integrity.
U ncover your talents, unleash your creative spirit, and unite with God’s purpose for your life.
V isualize your objectives as already achieved, and give thanks for their attainment.
W ake up to each new day of adventure, and wash out negative thoughts with positive prayers.
X cel by examining your results daily, and making adjustments in your actions as needed.
Y ield to your purpose and values, living each day with the faith and knowledge that you were created as a unique and valuable person.
Z ero in on your targets, and move toward them with desire, dedication, commitment, and faith.
This popular alphabet exercise can be applied to any topic. Give it a try by writing action words aimed at a specific goal or project that you are involved with. It’s a great self-motivator and idea generator.
Wishing you many great achievements!
© Copyright by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life success coach, motivational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Get the next issue by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com
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The Rate of Change
Monday, January 16th, 2012
There have been many discussions and grumblings in the Western world about the ever increasing pace of change and the ability of the brain to accept it. The Internet (something uninteresting that the American Military was developing) suddenly became a required household feature. Digital Mobile Phones suddenly give new meaning to taking photographs and all those gimmicks from James Bond Movies have long since been incorporated, accepted and forgotten about in daily life.
When in 10 A.D., Roman Engineer Julius Sextus Frontinus said, “Inventions have long since reached their limit, and I see no hope for further developments” he never knew that his words would be repeated. Mr Charles Duell, The Commissioner of the United States Patent Office said nearly the same thing in 1899: He said:
“Everything that can be invented – has already been invented”.
The rate of change is moving upwards at an ever increasing pace. We no sooner buy a computer than it becomes obsolete with outdated programs, chips and hardware installed. We no sooner buy a mobile phone than a newer and better looking one becomes the latest in fashion. There is no appreciation of electrical goods; there is instead a rapidly reducing value on any item purchased as to make it worth almost nothing from the moment that it is bought.
The Human Nature
It is in our nature to keep up with life, to be on top and to be one step ahead of our peers, neighbors and friends. It is natural to want to be at the leading edge of the game, to know and to understand what another is talking about, to have the answers available and ready and on the tip of the tongue. The average worker does not want to be seen as slacking or lacking in knowledge and the fashion conscious do not want to be caught wearing “old hat” clothes. The Bankers and Insurance agents do not want to be caught unaware and the salesmen need the latest in shock patter.
To read magazines and news reports, press-releases and advertisements in a vain attempt to keep up with latest trends, ideas and on-the-market availability is time consuming and exhausting. To have endless newspapers delivered to the door, to have magazines pouring in at the office and to always talk about the ‘latest’ in an effort to not be caught out is damaging to family, friends and health. This though is what current society makes us do: to push out and reduce contact with social friends, to work overtime in an attempt to be on top and to read product magazines whilst the squash court remains neglected. Life, relaxation, enjoyment, socializing and hobbies become secondary to a constant search for updated knowledge.
The issuance of News has become one of the worst culprits in throwing information at the brain. And in such a way that the brain feels that it needs a constant update of this news even if it has just been heard. Breakfast starts with CNN blasting out over the cornflakes and the children become relegated to enforced silence incase an important news item is missed. This carries on throughout the day with endless repetitions of the same news being blasted out in a different way – through meetings, lunch in the canteen, in the office and dinner in the evening. Watched by thousands of goggled eyed desperados desperately looking for a nugget or change – so that they may not be caught unawares.
Through this requirement to be up-to-date children are ignored, conversations are minimal and relaxation and enjoyment are relegated to a harried five-minute episode before bed.
The Staggered Approach
For a human to cope with such change and newness it is necessary to cope in stages. To take onboard change and newness in a staggered manner and to only accept change when it is either required or wanted. To buy a personal computer at great expense only to find that within six-months new software is now available, that surpasses the configuration or ability of the machine, is heart breaking. To find out a mate has bought a better machine than you is soul-rendering. How much can a human take?
When the clippers docked in Liverpool after a lengthy two-month voyage from the Far East they brought tea and the latest in fashionable goods for the high society in Britain. They also brought news of people, events and happenings in far flung places. This news may have been four months old (if not more) before it reached the ears of a ‘not very interested’
cobbler plying his trade on the high street. He might not get around to mentioning it to his wife for another three weeks or so and she may or may not mention it to the neighbors – all depending on the state of her bunions at the time.
The next update that the cobbler might or might not hear about might be when the next clipper arrives in town a month later. Hopefully from the same port in the Far East and assuming that those onboard were sober enough to have taken note of life around them. It is quite safe to say that events before the turn of the nineteenth century existed for most in a staggered manner. Declarations of war were made, armies sent, battles fought, surrenders made and hands shaken before news of anything untoward arrived back home.
Yet today this summarizing of world events does not exist. The ability to know everything within five-minutes of it having occurred is readily available to everybody. An ongoing and smooth road takes society from the beginning to the end without hiccup or falter and as it unfolds.
All this though is so unnecessary and the time spent listening, reading and catching up with trends, fashion, news, etc could be better spent. This is where the staggered approach has to be enforced and by self-policing can become a part of a good and enjoyable life.
For Example: To go out and buy the latest in modern technology requires the buyer to be at the top of current events and trends. This requires allot of reading and conversations with the experts. The machine is then bought and it is at this point that further research, talk and listening can be dispensed with. At the point of payment, the need for the latest information on technology and software becomes superfluous and attention can now be turned to something more worthwhile.
At the point of payment it is very important that the mind can now accept that from this moment forth it will always fall behind with regard to future innovations and changes. It is necessary that the buyer can accept that the recent purchase will slowly become obsolete and that his own knowledge will decrease during the time that he has that machine.
The buyer has in effect put is first foot up the staircase. He has researched, become knowledgeable and wise on the subject and made his purchase. There is now a waiting stage, a time lapse where the quest for knowledge becomes pointless. For the next few years or so the buyer can seriously enjoy using his machine for the value and output that it can give. It will only be necessary to place another foot on another stair when the machine fails: when it is blatantly obvious that it cannot keep up with modern trends or when someone points out that it is from Noah’s Ark. At this point and after three or so years of abstinence the magazines can be bought, the talks restarted and the quest for information can be instigated and again up to the point when the next machine is bought.
This approach to keeping up with trends can easily be applied to the receipt of news. Instead of watching the news on television, all day and everyday a half hour summary would do either in the morning or evening. The need to have newspapers delivered every morning to be faithfully read before work can be replaced by the Sunday edition which suitably summarizes a week’s events. Magazines like the Times, or Newsweek become priceless in their ability to subjectively give important news over a month period, without all the clutter, useless and unfounded opinions and errors that work through in daily news.
This staggered approach will save money on newspapers, magazines, clothes, and telephone bills. It will give that much needed time for a conversation with the wife, a play with the children or a beer whilst watching the sun go down.
To tackle life like a set of stairs rather than a steep path is the only way to accept the rate-of-change that exists around us and it would make for a far calmer and more rational human than the one that never has the time.
About The Author
Author and Webmaster of Seamania. As a Chief Engineer in the Merchant Navy Ieuan Dolby has sailed the world for fifteen years. Now living in Taiwan he writes about cultures across the globe and life as he sees it.
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Practice, Practice, Practice
Monday, January 16th, 2012
It may sound silly but the key to self-confidence and building more self-esteem is through practice. Practice what it is you want to feel more confident about and eventually, the confidence will show itself. That makes sense if we’re talking about a skill like playing the piano. With enough practice, you naturally begin to get good at it and then you feel more confident. But what about tougher things like public speaking or meeting new people? How do you practice something that you’re terrified to do in the first place?
If you have extreme self-esteem issues then you might want to seek professional help, but if you’ve determined that isn’t necessary, I would suggest that you start out by finding something that you genuinely love to do. Other than maybe reading books or doing crossword puzzles over coffee, most hobbies are a good place to start. Do you love to paint? Do you love to play a musical instrument? Do you love athletics? Find something that you love to do or that you think you would love to do. It’s not important what it is other than that it would bring you into contact with people on a tiny level. Unless you’re living in a cave somewhere, somebody is going to see your art work, hear your music, or see you running around practicing your sport. You don’t have to pick a big team oriented thing, just something that fascinates you and will be noticeable. Then do it. Learn to draw, take music lessons, start playing basketball in your own driveway, whatever, just start doing something that you can really enjoy.
Keep doing it until you get really good at it. It doesn’t have to necessarily be your career, but that would be fun for you if it was. Practice often and with complete joy. Lose yourself in it. That’s part of overcoming self-confidence issues is forgetting to think about you. Swim laps at the pool until you forget to care how you look. Get lost in something other than analyzing yourself. Fall in love with some hobby that takes your mind away from what others might think of you. Just keep practicing something you love until you get really good at it. It’s your hobby and your love, so don’t make any judgments over whether or not it’s stupid to like doing whatever it is that you like doing. Just get on with it.
When you’re in the moment — writing music or designing websites or whatever it is you’ve chosen, take a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come. At some point, you’re going to realize that you’re not too bad. At another point, you’ll even think, “Hey, I’m pretty good at this.” Someday, you’ll look up and notice that you’re an expert or at the very least awesome at what you’ve chosen to do. Take that growing self-confidence that’s connected to your hobby and begin channeling it into other areas. Depending on how much of a self-esteem problem you started out with it could be a matter of months or years before you are able to really see yourself in a new light. It’s one thing to say that everyone has their unique and special talent. It’s quite another to find and embrace your own.
Your
talent will not be something you hate doing. Sure, I’m really very good at scrubbing the bathroom. You can conduct a white glove inspection when I’m done, but that’s not my special talent. That’s not my special gift to the world. And it sure as heck never built an ounce of self-confidence for me. No, you have to really truly deeply love what it is you’re doing or the talent won’t show itself. You have to forget to think and lose all track of time while zoning out in the flow of creating, building, stretching, and growing with the hobby. Get to the point that when you look up and notice what you’ve done, that you’re impressed with yourself. Practice until you get to that point where you forget to judge yourself. You could very well end up making it into your career if there’s a market for it. If there isn’t, no harm done. You have got to build a can-do attitude around your ability to do something well.
Once you’ve learned something that well, you can begin stretching beyond your comfort zone and trying other things like public speaking. Okay so that might not happen right away, but once you’ve really mastered something, then you can always remind yourself that you are capable of success and you are capable of learning something new. Once you know that you can practice and learn new things, then the fear of new things isn’t nearly so immobilizing. You can step beyond your fears knowing that with enough practice you can master almost anything you set your mind to. At that point, you won’t actually have a self-esteem problem anymore.
The point is that by playing around with something you love until you are very good at it, you will gain self-esteem and that is going to make it possible for you to hold your head high and to bravely step into other more frightening areas of life. Start out by practicing at something you love until you’re good at it, then move on to the other things that don’t sound like much fun at all. You’ll really know deep down that there’s nothing to be afraid of. It all comes down to whether or not you believe that you are capable of learning something new. That’s all. Self-confident people reassure themselves when walking into unknown territory by saying, “Well, I’ll just have to wing it until I learn how to do it right. I’m sure I’ll figure it out soon enough.” That comes from experiencing the positive effects of having practiced and learned something new. So go learn something new — start with something fun.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge
About The Author
Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to http://www.TomorrowsEdge.net.
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