How to Make Use of Your Alone Time

Saturday, December 31st, 2011

Many people dread the times when they are left alone. They feel a sense of emptiness or boredom. They start to look out for things to do or people to talk to. Some get into habits like shopping, eating, watching too much television or anything else to “kill the time.”

Anytime is a good time to observe your moment to moment existence. But your alone times give you the chance to look deeper and notice the stimulus that cause the circumstances that you have created.

How to make use of your alone times.

Watch what is going on inside you.

The noise that is going around you daily makes it difficult to become aware of what is actually going on internally. When you are alone and there is no distraction, you can sit and watch your feelings and thoughts. You are able to see those internal pictures that your mind is showing and the voices that is going back and forth in your head.

Being able to do this regularly will show you that your experiences in life are the results of what you see and hear inside. You can then change your external situations by changing the pictures and voices deliberately that have formed your beliefs and behaviors.

Watch those things existing and happening outside.

When you watch other people doing things, you will notice that they do things and act in ways that produce certain outcomes. You will hear voices that inspire as

well as those that put themselves or others down. You will witness how people treat each other.

Watching nature and life itself should instill gratitude and awe. Regardless of what is happening around, the sun still rises and sets each day. The seasons come and go. Flowers blossom, and then wither and new ones will sprout. And there’s nothing you can do to change that.

Log your thoughts, feelings and observations in your journal.

The alone times are great moments to log your internal and external thoughts and observations. This is the time to check and measure your productivity and activities over a period of time to see whether you are making progress.

You can use this opportunity to reevaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Check on your goals too and check out what you have accomplished. If you have not written your goals down, it is about time that you do so.

Just Be.

At times, just sit down quietly and focus on your breath. Don’t resist and fight any thoughts or feelings. Redirect and refocus to your breathing with each inhalation and exhalation. It relaxes and quiets your mind. In your daily world of chaos and stress, you may need this time to find peace within.

Fatimah Musa provides information, tips and quotes to help people become aware that any future success starts with their personal growth. You can visit Fatimah at http://www.about-personal-growth.com or read more articles at http://www.about-personal-growth.com/personal-growth-articles.html.

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The Rudder of the Day

Thursday, December 29th, 2011

It’s been said that the first hour is the rudder of the day. I’ve found this to be very true in my own life. If I’m lazy or haphazard in my actions during the first hour after I wake up, I tend to have a fairly lazy and unfocused day. This kind of day might begin by lingering in bed to cuddle the wife, being pounced by my daughter, stretching a bit, getting dressed, shaving, having a leisurely breakfast (the kind that takes me 20 minutes to prepare and another 20 minutes to eat), unloading the dishwasher, discussing the day’s plans with my wife (we both work at home), etc. Then I might start the workday by checking email, writing a blog entry, and doing a few other minor tasks. By this time I’ve usually been up for several hours, and by that time those early hours have already predisposed me to having an uninspired day. On a scale of 1-10, my overall energy level rarely tops a 7 on this kind of day.

But if I strive to make that first hour optimally productive, the rest of the day tends to follow suit. This day begins by waking up at 5am and physically getting up the instant my alarm goes off — no lingering or thinking about sleeping in. I quickly get dressed but skip the shaving. I make a cup of herbal tea (no caffeine) and then go straight to my desk in my home office. No checking email. By 5:10am, I’ve begun work on my #1 project. After 60-90 minutes, I’ll take a break to go shave, acknowledge my family, then make a quick 5-minute breakfast and eat it in my office while I continue working. That productive first hour propels me forward, and by 11am, I’ve usually completed the equivalent of a full day’s work under the previous model. And normally my energy level will be at least an 8 or 9 through the rest of the day.

What surprised me was that the second version, although it seems harder, was actually easier once I got used to it. Getting the most important work done early in the day is energizing, and when you have a few weeks of highly productive days, it adds even more energy and momentum. I feel great when I see the clock hit 8:30am, and I’ve already done 3 solid hours of focused work on my #1 project. This creates strong momentum that carries me through the rest of the day. Many days I don’t bother to check my email until after 5pm — in fact, I think if people adopted the simple habit of not checking email

until after 5pm (assuming normal business hours), that alone would dramatically increase productivity. Try making email the last activity of your workday, and watch how quickly you can dispatch it.

Of course I have the advantage of working from home, so I can be at my desk within minutes of awakening. But I had similar experiences during those years when I had an office outside the home. I generally found it best to get up and go straight to work with minimal delay. Eating breakfast at the office instead of lingering at home usually led to a more productive day.

The advantage of starting so early is that you finish early. Sometimes I’m done with my workday before I pick up my daughter from preschool at 3:30PM, so I feel no guilt in taking the rest of the day off.

Motivation can precede action, but motivation also follows action. How you spend that first hour will induce the corresponding level of motivation in you, which you can then use to good effect. If you want a highly productive fast-tempo day, make that first hour as such — get up and go straight to work on your #1 project. If you want a peaceful day, make that first hour peaceful — meditate, read, go for a walk, take a relaxing bath. If you want a lazy day, be lazy that first hour — sleep in, watch TV, have a leisurely breakfast. If you want a day lost to trivialities, spend that first hour on trivialities — check email, visit online forums, read the news, get chatty with others.

The good news is that if you want to have a certain kind of day, simply focus your best efforts on that first hour. Don’t worry about what comes afterwards. If you nail that first hour, the rest of the day will tend to fall in line. Leverage the power of the rudder to steer the whole ship.

To a lesser degree, I’ve also found this can work midday, although it’s usually harder. If you’ve started off having a lousy day, take a breath and then focus your best efforts on mastering the hour that’s right in front of you. That’s your rudder.

Copyright © Steve Pavlina

Steve Pavlina

Personal Development for Smart People

http://www.stevepavlina.com

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog (blog)

http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles (articles)

Steve is intensely growth-oriented. He trained in martial arts, ran the L.A. Marathon, and graduated from college in three semesters with two degrees. He can juggle, count cards at blackjack, and make damn good guacamole. Steve is also a polyphasic sleeper, sleeping just 2-3 hours per day and only 20 minutes at a time. So chances are good that he’s awake right now.

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Motivation: There is No Someday

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

Get out your calendar or day planner and take a look at the days of the week.

If you have a calendar like mind, you will see Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. What you will not see is Someday.

So here is the point – There is no someday!

Our belief in “someday I will….” is a myth that holds us back in life. We fool ourselves this way. It’s one way we rationalize. Read the word rationalize as “rational – lies.”

How to make “someday” a series of todays

Here’s a quick little reminder that there is no someday – get a sheet of paper and write down the year 2005. Next to that write your age, then next to that the age of your spouse, then the age of each of your children.

Now

do the same for 2006, 2007 etc.., all the way to 2015.

For me this year would be 2005-47-41-11-3 and ten years from now 2015-57-51-21-13.

This little checkup can give you a sense of urgency about how quickly time passes and how you use your time.

How many summers does that leave you with the kids at home? How many holidays do you have left? How many………well, you get the idea.

Turn those somedays into a series of todays.

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Energy Boosters

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

I needed to learn about energy boosters. Fatigue and a lack of energy have been problems for all my life. In an effort to find out why, I’ve asked doctors, read books, and finally decided that some questions just won’t be answered in my lifetime.

Fortunately, I’ve also learned that even without discovering the root causes of my tiredness, there are things I can do to alleviate it. Below are some of energy boosters that have worked for me and others over the years. Try them to see which work best for you, and use more than one at a time if necessary.

Ten Energy Boosters

1. Energetic music. Different types of music have different effects on us, but you can learn which are best for you by trial and error. Once you find the music that wakes you up, keep it ready. Keep a tape in your car, and a CD in the player at home.

2. Sleep better. The research seems to show that as long as you get at least five hours of sleep, the quality is more important than the quantity. Try drinking something warm before bed, or relax with a simple meditation.

3. Talk about something interesting. Have you ever seen a tired person start to talk about something they’re passionate about, and suddenly “wake up.” It’s a powerful technique you can use for yourself. Have a few “favorite” subjects that get you going.

4. Coffee. For some of us, caffeine makes us more tired when

it’s abused, but short-term, it can work wonders.

5. Deep breathing. Several slow deep breaths help oxygenate the blood supply better, and especially seems to wake up the brain.

6. Have an “energy drink.” The verdict isn’t in on most of them, but it’s a cheap option to try. I seem to get something from the ones with Ginkgo Biloba in them.

7. Move your body. Sometimes just getting up and washing the dishes, or walking around the house helps boost energy levels.

8. Exercise. It’s not a quick solution, but many people notice an increase in their energy level when they get regular aerobic exercise.

9. Hot and cold shower. Try a minute of hot water, then a minute of cold, alternating for six minutes. This isn’t for those with weak hearts, but it will wake you up. Incidentally, research shows that this also revs up the immune system.

10. Get outside. Often, a little sunshine and fresh air can be very energizing.

Write down the techniques that work for you when you find them, to remind yourself to use them. Of course you should try to find the reasons for your tiredness or fatigue. You may have more luck than I. In the meantime, though, why not try a few of these enrgy boosters?

Steve Gillman writes on many topics including brainpower, weight loss, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. Learn more and get FREE e-courses at http://www.SelfImprovementNow.com.

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Master Your Beliefs, Master Your Emotions

Monday, December 26th, 2011

Joe makes a comment and you suddenly feel a rush of energy. Your face flushes and your knuckles whiten as you begin squeezing the edge of the table for dear life. Some part of you knows that this feeling is not proportionate to Joe’s comment or intention, but something was triggered in you nonetheless, and you’re ready to bite his head off.

To be effective as a friend, spouse, significant other, co-worker, manager, leader, or whatever role you’re playing at the moment, learning to manage your feelings is a critical step toward living a happy, successful, and fulfilled life.

Managing your feelings doesn’t mean that you repress them. It means that you become aware of what’s going on inside of you, own your feelings as your own, heed the message that they have for you, and act responsibly.

What is emotional mastery? Emotions are often described as energy in motion. They become problems only when we judge them as wrong, bad, or inappropriate. When we let our emotions run us, we miss the message that they carry. When we stuff them down for fear of what they might cause us to do, they simply lie in wait to emerge with a vengeance later on. Emotional mastery is the ability to process our emotions so that we receive their message and use their energy for appropriate action.

Our emotions are a reflection of our beliefs about life events. For example, if you believe that you are your work and you suddenly lose your job, you are likely to feel an incredible amount of fear, as you perceive your very survival to be at stake. If you repress this fear, you’ll probably experience anger or rage and at some point, you will likely lash out at whoever s available.

If on the other hand, you are a person who views your job simply as one aspect of your life, and you know that your inherent value lies in your unique skills and qualities, then your feelings and response to losing your job will probably be a whole lot different. You may just view this loss as an opportunity to explore a whole new path for yourself.

The bottom line here is this: how you feel in any situation corresponds exactly with what you believe about yourself and the situation. Master your beliefs, and you’ll master your emotions.

Knowing that you can change

how you feel simply by changing how you think about each experience is a powerful concept. If you feel upset about something, ask yourself, “How can I reinterpret this event in a such a way that I can feel good or at least OK about it?” If you have a bill you can’t pay for example, instead of getting upset, decide that this is an opportunity to redesign your financial life. Ask for help, develop a plan, and use your energy to get moving on it.

How you think about your emotions adds another layer. We often give ourselves a double whammy when we get upset about feeling upset. Here are some positive ways to interpret the purpose of our basic emotions, set down by Peter McWilliams in his book, “Do It.”

- Fear is the energy to do your best in a new situation. – Guilt is the energy for personal change-it is anger directed toward ourselves, and anger is the energy for change. – Unworthiness keeps us on track–just as we can have anything we want, we can’t have everything we want. So too, we are worthy of anything we want, but we may not be worthy of everything we want. – Hurt feelings are a reminder of how much we care.

So how can you use this information in your life? I suggest that you examine any beliefs you hold around emotions and the situations that trigger them.Begin to cultivate present moment awareness as your emotions arise. Just notice them and look at them, not as good or bad, but simply with curiosity, and with the question, what’s this energy for and how do I choose to use it?

Practice. Begin the practice of observing emotions when they arise and identify any judgments you might have about them.

Focus instead on listening to the message they hold for you. Then, act on this message by expressing the emotion in a positive fashion.

Copyright 2003. FacilitatorU.com All rights reserved.

Steve Davis, M.A., M.S., is a Facilitator’s Coach, Infoprenuer, and free-lance human, helping facilitators, organizational leaders, educators, trainers, coaches and consultants present themselves confidently, access their creativity, empower their under-performing groups, enhance their facilitation skills, and build their business online and offline. Does leading or participating in groups frustrate you? Subscribe to the free weekly ezine for group workers at http://www.masterfacilitatorjournal.com/ezine.html. Contact Steve at mailto:steve@facilitatoru.com.

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Ability, Motivation, and Attitude

Sunday, December 25th, 2011

“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” Lou Holtz

There are three primary aspects of your life that will determine whether or not you are successful in your endeavors. You will not be successful if you have only one or two. You must have all three working together. Consider them like the three legs of a “stool of success.”

Ability – the level at which you are able to actually do things. Your skill level. If you have a high level of skill, that’s good. And the better you get, the better it will be for you. To the degree that you can perform your actions at higher and higher skill levels, the more and more success you will find in your chosen field.

Motivation – the level at which you are able to find “a reason to act.” This is the internal drive that you find that enables you to exercise your abilities. To the degree that you can find a way, or ways, to keep yourself motivated, you will see yourself right in the thick of things, carrying out your actions to the best of your abilities and succeeding accordingly.

Attitude – this is the mental state that you have while carrying out your actions to the best of your ability. It is the way you view the world around you and choose to see it, either positively or negatively. To the degree that you can maintain a positive attitude about yourself, others, and the circumstances you find yourself in, you will see yourself achieving greater and greater things.

“But Chris, can’t I get away with just two?”

No.

What if you have high skills and motivation but a rotten attitude? People will stay away and hinder your success. What if you have a good attitude and motivation but poor skills? People will like you, maybe even root for you, but go to someone else with the skills they need. What if you have great skills and attitude but no motivation? Well, you’ll be sitting on the couch like a lazy slug while the go-getters are out there making your money and achieving your dreams!

No, it takes all three. So let’s ask some questions: Ability: How highly skilled are you? Is your skill level holding you back? How

so? What could you achieve if you just took your skills to the next level beyond where they are right now? How would improving your skills improve the bottom line of your success?

Motivation: How motivated are you? Why do you answer that way? What would your spouse or close friends say? Would they say you are as motivated as you say you are? Why or why not? Why do you have the level of motivation that you have? What could you do to find a higher level of motivation? What would happen if you became super motivated for the next period of your life. What great things would happen?

Attitude: Do you have a good attitude or a poor one? How would you rate yourself? What about when things go wrong? Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? What would happen if you took your attitude to the next level for the next 60 days? What if you just chose to have an incredible attitude? What would be the ramifications?

“The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what a man or woman is able to do that counts.” Booker T. WashingtonThis is so true. People will judge you on what you accomplish, not what you know or what you talk about. In fact, if you know a lot or talk a lot but do not accomplish anything, people will wonder what happened. So the question is whether or not you will take the actions necessary to deliver on your potential. To do so, you will need to focus in on the three legs of the stool of success: Your ability, your motivation, and your attitude.Take some time this week to give some serious thought to these three areas. Your success depends on it! And when you have done some reflection – put the conclusions you come to into action!

About The Author:

Chris Widener is a popular speaker and writer as well as the President of Made for Success, a company helping individuals and organizations turn their potential into performance, succeed in every area of their lives and achieve their dreams.

To see Chris “live” at the upcoming Jim Rohn Weekend Event as he speaks on the subject of Secrets of Influence go to http://Chris-Widener.InspiresYOU.com/ or call 800-929-0434.

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Walking a New Road

Sunday, December 25th, 2011

(excerpted from the Take Charge of Your Life 6 CD series)

Here is a good question to ask yourself. Ten years from now you will surely arrive. The question is, where? We don’t want to kid ourselves about where; we don’t want to kid ourselves about the road we’re walking.

At age 25, I had a day shortly after I met Mr. Schoaff called “do not kid myself anymore” day. I didn’t want to be disillusioned anymore. Up until then, I had been using the crossed-finger theory. But after meeting Mr. Schoaff, I finally decided that the crossed-finger theory was not going to get me what I wanted. That it wasn’t where the treasure lies. That I was going to have to make sure which way I was headed

Then, with the help of Mr. Schoaff, I found with a few reading disciplines, and a few disciplines of mind, and a few disciplines of activity, that when exercised, can begin making all the difference in the world as to where you will arrive.

Just a few changes. Sometimes we get the idea that we’re doing about 10% and there’s about 90% more that we need in order to make the difference for our fortune but probably the opposite is true. We’re doing enough things to have bought and shared in the good life so far. And maybe all we need is that extra 5% or 10% of intellectual change. Activity change. A refinement of discipline. A refinement of thought. And all we need is the ideas to make those simple changes and the equity starts gathering in one year, three years, five years, ten years.

I have a good comment for you: Now’s the time to fix the next 10 years. Now, you may have to come to grips with reality and with truth; that’s what was good for me when I met Mr. Schoaff, I was 25 years old, he was 44 years old.

And he brought me a wealth of experience and he started asking me the tough questions. “Big question”, he said, “Are you reading the books that are going to take you where you want to go in the next 5 years?”

Excellent question. See, you want to make sure. I would assume for all of you, to get to where you want to be in the next 5 years, you are either reading the right books or you’re not. You’re either engaged in the disciplines or you’re not. But, here’s what we don’t want to engage in: disillusion. Hoping without acting. Wishing without doing.

The key is to take a look and say, “Where am I? What could I do to make the changes to make sure that I can take more certain daily steps toward the treasure I want, the mental treasure, the personal treasure, the spiritual treasure, the financial treasure? I don’t want to make any more errors, now’s the time to adjust my daily program to take me where I want to go.”

In lecturing the last 39 years, I’ve gotten letters and personal testimonies of people that have done such remarkable things with just a few suggestions. And that is why seminars, tapes and books can be so valuable. Here’s a key idea for us all to remember: We could all use a little coaching. When you’re playing the game, it’s sometimes hard to see it all.

But the key is to start right now making these changes to walk this new road. And here’s what’s exciting to me, just a few daily disciplines makes a great deal of difference in one year, three years, five years. And before you know it, you will be walking a brand new road.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

Reproduced with permission from Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine.Copyright 2005 Jim Rohn International. All rights reservedworldwide. To subscribe to Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine, go tohttp://Jim-Rohn.InspiresYOU.com

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The Time to Act

Friday, December 23rd, 2011

Engaging in genuine discipline requires that you develop the ability to take action. You don’t need to be hasty if it isn’t required, but you don’t want to lose much time either. Here’s the time to act: when the idea is hot and the emotion is strong.

Let’s say you would like to build your library. If that is a strong desire for you, what you’ve got to do is get the first book. Then get the second book. Take action as soon as possible, before the feeling passes and before the idea dims. If you don’t, here’s what happens -

- You Fall Prey To The Law Of Diminishing Intent -

We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don’t translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now the passion is cold. A year from now it can’t be found.

So take action. Set up a discipline when the emotions are high and the idea is strong, clear, and powerful. If somebody talks about good health and you’re motivated by it, you need to get a book on nutrition. Get the book before the idea passes, before the emotion gets cold. Begin the process. Fall on the floor and do some push-ups. You’ve got to take action; otherwise the wisdom is wasted. The emotion soon passes unless you apply it to a disciplined activity.

Discipline

enables you to capture the emotion and the wisdom and translate them into action. The key is to increase your motivation by quickly setting up the disciplines. By doing so, you’ve started a whole new life process.

Here is the greatest value of discipline: self-worth, also known as self-esteem. Many people who are teaching self-esteem these days don’t connect it to discipline. But once we sense the least lack of discipline within ourselves, it starts to erode our psyche. One of the greatest temptations is to just ease up a little bit. Instead of doing your best, you allow yourself to do just a little less than your best. Sure enough, you’ve started in the slightest way to decrease your sense of self-worth.

There is a problem with even a little bit of neglect. Neglect starts as an infection. If you don’t take care of it, it becomes a disease. And one neglect leads to another. Worst of all, when neglect starts, it diminishes our self-worth.

Once this has happened, how can you regain your self-respect? All you have to do is act now! Start with the smallest discipline that corresponds to your own philosophy. Make the commitment: “I will discipline myself to achieve my goals so that in the years ahead I can celebrate my successes.”

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

Reproduced with permission from Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine.Copyright 2005 Jim Rohn International. All rights reservedworldwide. To subscribe to Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine, go tohttp://Jim-Rohn.InspiresYOU.com

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Extreme Makeover – Compliments of Me

Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

There is a fascination these days with reality shows that completely make over people, rooms, homes, businesses and now towns, in a short amount of time. I have to admit, I love them too. I love the neat story with a happy ending. They make it look easy, in spite of the pain and hard work many of them have to endure. People have always had this fascination. It’s no different than the old shows (and I’m dating myself here) like Bewitched, where Samantha, who was a witch, would just twitch her nose and, Voila! – her house was clean as a whistle. To go even further back, there was a very popular show called The Millionaire, where a mysterious benefactor would come anonymously with a check for a million dollars and transform someone’s life.

Our fascination with quick fixes extends to every area of our lives. In the area of weight loss, the stomach stapling or banding operation is now more popular than ever. People are disappearing before our very eyes. Why diet when you can just have surgery? Lotto is another variation on this fascination. Someone takes a dollar and a dream, purchases a Lotto ticket and all their troubles fade away. Or do they?

We live in an age of instant gratification. Fast food, fast results. We want it now and we want it easy. The problem is that life is not really that simple. The makeover shows have an unseen staff of people helping them to get it all done, not to mention a budget and a host of willing resources looking for their own 15 minutes of fame.

The people themselves, I am sure, experience all sorts of things like the reality that overeating really has nothing to do with your stomach or hunger and more to do with what’s going on in your head. And when someone fixes your stomach, you are now forced to fix what’s going on in your head. And sometimes, I’ll bet, that’s even harder than exercising and dieting. And I’m sure months of therapy are needed for a lot of the other show recipients to cope with the instant and dramatic changes in their lives. I’m not saying some of these people don’t work hard either.

The Biggest Loser contestants have to do the work themselves and many of the makeover recipients endure extreme pain. But you have to admit they’ve got a heck of a support system.

The drawback of watching these fast ways of relieving yourself of the responsibility of creating the results you want in your life, making it almost as easy as taking a pill, is that this makes us even less motivated to do it for ourselves. We sit around and scheme and whine about how

we wish that we could get on this show or what we would do if we hit Lotto. The entire time I road the train to work on my 9-5, all I heard was that “there’s gotta be a better way”. But how many people were working on figuring out what that better way was?

Well, here’s a newsflash. You can do it for yourself! You can improve yourself and your life. You can find that better way. You can have the same results these people have had on TV. There is nothing stopping you! But here’s the drawback. 1- It won’t be that quick. 2- It won’t be as easy as it looks 3- You have to rely on yourself or cultivate your own supporting staff. 4- You must create your own budget. 5- Staying motivated is your job.

But beyond this, the rewards are so much more gratifying. They are not instant but much more lasting. Why? Because you’ve done it for yourself. So now, not only are you feeling pretty good about your efforts, you now know how to get it done. It’s somewhat like the proverb about teaching a man to fish instead of giving him a fish dinner. Of course, I have paraphrased here. But you understand what I mean.

I believe that once you have recreated your own reality, the rewards can be tremendous and far more satisfying than someone whisking you away and changing you into someone you didn’t have a chance to grow into, growth being the operative word.

I am working on an extreme makeover in three areas of my own life, as if one area would not be enough (and no, none of them involve surgery!). I am using a method of goal setting taught to me by Denise Michaels, a coach, author and Ryze Network (www.ryze.com) moderator of the Testosterone-Free Marketing Network. It is a powerful method of goal setting that meshes your goals with your values and brings those goals into your daily life. It includes the daily reaffirming of your goal through a vivid vision statement, guiding principles and so much more.

Is it easy? No! Trust me, I am working hard and battling my personal demons in the process, but should I succeed, and I believe I surely will, I will be every bit as happy and excited as the people you see on the makeover shows, including a few tears, but somehow I believe that my victory will be just a bit sweeter. Why? Because this victory will be totally compliments of me!

Gayle Santana is the owner of The PVS Network and The PVS Network Virtual Call Center helping business owners everywhere focus on the bottom line! http://www.pvsnetwork.com; gayle@pvsnetwork.com

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Did You Have A Tough Childhood?

Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

Many claim intense childhood trauma “damages” a person in their adult years.

But is this necessarily true? We all have obstacles and hardships — some of us more so than others. But although you had a tough childhood, this does NOT mean you’ll have problems or failures over your entire lifetime.

Actually — just the opposite is true!

Intense difficulties, hardships and major obstacles are actually often *major* contributors to one’s success.

It’s true that difficult childhoods do leave some people wounded and disadvantaged. But for others … a tough childhood actually drove them to outrageous achievement and success! The difference is one’s resourcefulness and determination.

Adversity and Greatness

In a classic book — Cradles of Eminence — researchers Victor and Mildred Goertzel reviewed the childhood family life of 700 of the world’s most successful people.

Their goal was to identify the early experiences that contributed to the remarkable achievements of these successful people.

All of their “research subjects” are widely known for their personal accomplishments. Their names are easily recognizable: Franklin D. Roosevelt, Helen Keller, Winston Churchill, Albert Schweitzer, Gandhi, Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, etc.

What they discovered was fascinating!

Three-quarters of these successful people (525 of the 700) came from deeply troubled childhoods. They had endured extreme poverty, broken homes … and even parental abuse.

Over one-fourth (199 of the 700) had to deal with very serious physical handicaps such as deafness, blindness or crippled limbs. And over 80% of those who became successful writers and playwrights had watched their own parents struggle with intense psychological dramas.

The Goertzel’s concluded that the drive to “compensate” for their disadvantages actually drove these people straight into the arms of outrageous personal achievement.

The Triumph of a “Homely” Woman

Anna Eleanor Roosevelt, a former U.S. “First Lady” provides an excellent example. Anna was orphaned at 10, and had a childhood of utter anguish.

As a young girl she was painfully aware of being very homely. And her childhood writings reveal she never had a sense of “belonging” anywhere, or to anyone.

According to Victor Wilson of the Newhouse News Service, Anna Eleanor Roosevelt was “a rather humorless introvert (and) an unbelievably shy young woman, unable to overcome her personal insecurity … and with a deep conviction of her own inadequacies.”

But as she matured, Anna Eleanor Roosevelt refused to remain “disadvantaged.”

She took hold of her own bootstraps and began to pull herself up into a higher, more powerful consciousness.

After marrying, she ended up courageously nursing her husband through crippling polio. Then when he (Franklin Roosevelt) was elected to the U.S. Presidency in the depth of the Great Depression, Mrs. Roosevelt quickly transformed the position of First Lady.

As First Lady, she became an outspoken supporter for the downtrodden of all races, religions and countries — at the same time managing the White House, and raising six children. (Do YOU consider yourself “too busy” to reach out and claim your full potential?)

After her husband’s death, she spent the remainder of her life as a highly-respected American spokesperson to the United Nations.

At her death this shy, disadvantaged, homely and withdrawn young woman had became one of the most loved and revered women of her entire generation.WHY did this happen?

Eleanor Roosevelt made a PERSONAL CHOICE to

lift herself beyond her perceived “limitations.”

As Victor Wilson said, “From some inner wellspring, Mrs. Roosevelt summoned a tough, unyielding courage, tempered by remarkable self-control and self-discipline.”

The “Adversity Principle”

Obstacles and hardships do NOT have to lead to failure! “Adversity causes some men to break, and others to break records,” says William Ward.

Scientific evidence has proven that “well-being” is NOT always an advantage for either plants or animal. Where there is no challenge, obstacle or hardship … growth and development is often limited.

Biologists refer to this as the “adversity principle.”

Consider Lou Gehrig: Lou was such a clumsy kid that the boys in his neighborhood wouldn’t let him play on their baseball team. But he tapped into his source of inner courage and determination. Lou Gehrig is today listed in the baseball “Hall of Fame” as one of the greatest ball players of all time.

Then there was Woodrow Wilson, who couldn’t read until he was ten years old. Wilson went on in his life to become the twenty-eighth President of the United States.

Plus … Thomas Edison was stone-cold deaf, Booker T. Washington was born in slavery, and Lord Byron was crippled by a “club foot.” The famous writer Robert Louis Stevenson had tuberculosis. Alexander Pope had an unsightly hunchback, and Julius Caesar was an epileptic.

Yet each of these individuals became famous historic figures in spite of (or perhaps *because of*) their handicaps.

Helen Keller, who could not hear or see, transformed an entire nation when she graduated with honors from college. She is still a source of inspiration for millions.

Then there’s Ludwig van Beethoven. Beethoven began to lose his hearing in his 20s, and was completely deaf by 50. Yet he created some of the world’s most beautiful music. He was once overheard shouting at the top of his voice, “I will take life by the throat!”

A Call to Action

This is your personal call to action!

Your ATTITUDE toward any perceived personal “handicap” determines its impact on your life.

This IS your life! Why not make it all it can be?

Recall this the next time you’re tempted to focus on any personal weaknesses or past pain to rationalize failure.

To become all we can be, we MUST stop making excuses.

Use any personal adversity or perceived limitations to do what Beethoven did: Let lose with a life-affirming roar and “grab life by the throat.”

Grab Life By the Throat!

Are you sick and tired of settling for less? This is a good day to take action to claim more of your TRUE POTENTIAL. Get past your “old stuff” my friend, and fire yourself up! If not now, when???

The author, Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler, is a doctor of psychology, pioneer brain/mind researcher, and former advisor to the Pentagon, a Presidential Commission, and numerous top executives and executive teams.

The author of several books and hundreds of articles, she is also the co-founder of quantum-self.com, and the Creative Director of the Self Discovery Community.She can be reached at: drjill@quantum-self.com

Come visit the exciting Self Discovery Community. Discover the most interesting, unusual, stimulating and creative methods of self discovery on the web today! Free sizzling weekly ezine, and the web’s first Brain Gym ezone. http://www.quantum-self.com

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